Question #4 for Jess

Jess writes: Hi! Awesome site. You have great ideas.

So……this guy had a crush on me all through high school. I always kind of liked him but never acted on it. Now we have been talkin a lot and hangin out and stuff……doin stuff that people do when they;re dating. I keep trying to hint that I want more but he keeps pretty much sayin that he doesnt wanna be nothing more then friends. But then he acts he likes me again. What do i do? I really like him.
Help me KYLE!


Dear Jess,

I believe that your friend is confused about how he truly feels about you. I have been down the road where one minute I liked someone and the next day I was not sure.  I honestly believe that your friend is afraid of commitment and does not want to risk your friendship by dating you. It is often noted that when friends date, the breakup will destroy the friendship. I am not saying you guys would break up but most guys are afraid of committing to someone with whom they have been longtime friends with. I think he fears that dating you might destroy the friendship should you guys break up. If he says he does not want to be more then just friends, try asking him why. Maybe he is afraid like I stated. If so, reassure him that if it does not work out, you still want to be best buds with him. You did mention that he had a crush on you all though high school but you never acted on it. This might have hurt him because he might have thought that he was not good enough for you. There is a chance that the crush he once had on you is gone and that he has moved on. Honestly, I think you should approach him and confess your true feelings about him. Leave nothing off the table because you might just have one last shot at it. Some guys are shy and are scared to death to make the move, so I think you have to make that move. Tell him everything, and then go from there. I must warn you that if he rejects you that your friendship might become awkward so you have to let him know that no matter what, you want to be friends. You have to go for it, because if you do not you might regret not taking the chance. If you don’t then you will always wish you had and even if things don’t work you will feel a little better getting it off your chest. I really hope things work out for you. Hopefully he feels the same towards you but was afraid of making the move. Best of luck to you and thanks for coming to this page.


Published in: on December 23, 2009 at 4:24 am  Leave a Comment  

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