Question #6 for Going Crazy

Going Crazy writes: hey kyle.. well heres the problem… i have been with my bf for almost a year we have a few lil issues then one major issue his father… he is 20 years old his father wont let him work, wont let him see me, his father hates me and thinks im a gold digger even tho he has no money.. or that im just looking for a baby daddy which if that was the case i would have just stayed with the father… i have tried to make peace with his father to the point i have cooked for him… i told my bf to move out and i would find somewhere for him to go but he is worried his family would disown him i hate this situation but nothing is getting better all it is getting worse and honestly i dont know what to do can u help…

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Dear Going Crazy,

Your boyfriend is 20 years old and is at the point in his life where he needs to take responsibility for his own actions. You obviously like him since you have went to extreme lengths to impress his father. However, there is honestly nothing you can really do here. Your boyfriend needs to step up to the plate and get a job. I understand him not wanting to move out right now if he is jobless. I am 21 and in college and would love to move out on my own but I don’t have the financial resources to do that at this time. If he were to get a job, he could save up money to move out of his parents house. His family seems over protective of him and probably is afraid you will hurt him somehow. I understand that this is a touch situation but sometimes the situation is beyond our control. He is the one who needs to make the choice to become an adult. The only thing you can really do is be there and support him. If he won’t try to get a job and continues to blame the father, chances are he just does not want to grow up right now. I know that may sound harsh but there comes a point in everyone’s life where they need to take responsibility and control of their own destiny in life. He has to learn to stand up for himself, and politely explain to his father that he wants to become a productive member of society. In closing, the decision is up to him. Let him know that you will support him and stand by his side as he stands up to his father. If he were 16 or 17 I could see him not wanting to fight with his dad but he is 20 now and it is time for him to grow up. I hope things work out for the best for you and him but you have to know that there is little that you can do during this struggle he is facing. Just be supportive, and I am sure he will appreciate that. Thanks for stepping by this web page and I hope I have somehow helped you out.

-Kyle

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Published in: on December 24, 2009 at 12:22 am  Leave a Comment  

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