Question #7 for Mr S

Mr S emails me: Hey, I heard you were really good at giving advice from Janna and I wanted to ask you if I should break up with my girlfriend or not. Her name’s E.
Me and her have some history together so yeah.
I’ve known her since the beginning of 7th grade which was last school year and I started to really talk to her like in May. I liked her but since I’m shy I didn’t ask her out and I told one of my friends(EM) and she told the girl I liked(E). And I also didn’t ask her out because I didn’t think she liked me anyways. I also did like this one other girl(I) but not nearly as much as I liked E. But I knew (I) liked me so I went out with her. And it turned out that E did like me. And it seemed like she was my girlfriend instead of (I).. And also she acted happy for me when she found out I was going out with (I). But then I broke up with (I) for E. But she was going to Mexico and we talked about us and she said we’ll talk about it more when she came back from Mexico. So when she came back we started talking again on myspace and she told me that she got a boyfriend over there and that she was sorry. And that kinda broke my heart. And she told  me that her excuse was that I broke her heart when I went out with (I) and that she was sad and lonely and it just happened. So I made myself not like her anymore but then we went to the fair together with friends and me and her started liking each other again. So then we went out but we broke up about a month later. But it was sorta my fault because I was really shy and I am a little unexperienced relationshipwise and she isn’t. So it took me a while just to her hand and longer to kiss her and I only kissed her that one time and also we barely had anything to talk about. So then she broke up with me and even worse she broke up with me through myspace..And that broke my heart again and even worse. We started talking again after a week or so and it was pretty hard for me just to even say hi ’cause I was so hurt. But then recently we started to like each other again so we went out. This occured on December 10 and it sorta felt like destiny I guess you could say because the last time I asked her out, we went out October 10 and they day was on a Thursday too. And she said yes but asked me to go faster. And I have. The first day I just hugged her and put my arm around her the whole time I was with her. and then the next day I held her hand and kissed her. then next day i didn’t kiss her but then after i kissed her twice. And now I don’t really have a problem kissing her anymore because I am used to it..and not nervouse about it. But she went to Mexico again with her family. And I think she might hook up with that boy she met over there again. But her friend told me that she sent her a text saying that my lips were soft and that she misses me. And also, I am afraid of getting my heart broken a third time. So should I stay with her.?
Thanks IN advance.
—-
Dear Mr S.
I hate to say this but it sounds like from what you described that this girl is trying to make you do things that you are not comfortable with. Honestly, I believe she is using you and trying to turn you into something you do not want to be. If she broke up with you because you were not experienced “relationship” wise then that was totally not fair to you. That is not your fault at all, and it is very rude on her part for doing that. You are still very young and there are so many people out there. No relationship in middle school or high school seems to last long these days. You said you and her have dated on and off for three times and that seems like something just is not clicking between you too. In the end the choice is yours and you should think about this deeply before making the decision, but if I were in your shoes I would dump her. She has broken your heart many times, and I think she will end up doing it again to you and that is not fair to you. Who knows, maybe in a few months she will grow up some and you guys might work out. However, I feel like you need to get away from her because she is just going to hurt you again. You need to be honest when breaking up with her and try not to say anything hurtful or anything that you will regret. I was in a relationship kind of like yours when I was young and I was totally rude and said some of the meanest things when I broke up with my ex. To this day I still regret that even though it happened when I was 15. Me and her still talk every once in a while but I ruined any chance at us staying good friends. If you want to remain friends with this girl, let her know that and try to be up front and polite with your words. Again, the final decision is yours and you need to think this through. I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you end up making. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and your family.
-Kyle

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Published in: on December 24, 2009 at 7:56 am  Leave a Comment  

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