Question #9 for Mike

Mike emails me:

hi kyle my name is mike and i was talking to janna  and she said you can help me in my situation,if you can i thank you lots because im very confused and don’t know what to do so here it is

“ok well i have known this girl for a while at least 7 months now,we’ve talked pretty much everyday and i’ve really gotten to known her and i’m starting to have big feelings for her. she was always telling me how much she loves me and always laughed at my jokes and what i said. but it turns out she doesn’t like me anymore…she did for a while and never told me? she told all her friends which i know very well but never occured to her to tell me? so i finally told her how i felt but i guess i was too late and now she just wants to be friends.i know she still has these feelings for me because when i see her at school she gets nervous,and when i ignore her she ignores me then i ask why and she says,”if your not guna try then neither am i”… why would she care if i try or not if she doesn’t like me anymore??
..i wrote her a poem and she said it was beautiful but she still wants to be friends….i talk to her friends and they tell me she isn’t talkin to anyone else like we were and doesnt like anyone else. i really miss our conversations and everything about her i just want her back. help me nd thankss

—–

Dear Mike,

I can totally relate to what you are going through. Girls can be really strange sometimes when it comes to relationships with us guys. Really, I don’t think we will ever be able to fully understand them. From what you write I have to be honest with you because it looks like she just likes you as her best guy friend. Trust me, a situation like this is often win less. I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend and ended up wasting many years on her. I wasted so much time on her that I could have used for other relationships. There were times when I was actually making myself ill because of trying to win her heart and the countless failures. You did not say if you actually dated her, but if you did not then I believe you fell into the friend zone. She admitted to once liking you but girls can change so much in such short time. One minute they are totally head over in heels in love with us and the next they hate our guts, often for no reason at all. I think you should try what I did with my friend, yes I failed but I do not have live with the regret over not telling her how I really felt about her. Friend, you need to meet her alone. Make sure you and her have no interruptions and tell her how you really feel with about her. Are you in love with her? If so, you need to tell her. If she does reject you, you will know you put it all out there. To be honest, from what you write it seems like she just wants you as a friend. If that is the case, please don’t push her out of your life. I am so happy that my friend who I was in love with is still in my life 7 years later. Friendships like that are very rare, so even if she does not want to be your girlfriend, she could end up becoming a really good friend who you can count on. I hope you do win her heart, but it will not be easy. Let her know exactly how you feel about her and be totally honest and upfront. Do not take the chance of waiting until she gets a boyfriend. Best of luck to you and I hope you enjoy the holidays!

-Kyle

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Published in: on December 26, 2009 at 6:28 am  Leave a Comment  

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